


Thief

by silverynight



Series: Reverse Omens [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Demon Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Reverse Omens, Smitten Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2020-10-20 14:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20677058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverynight/pseuds/silverynight
Summary: He not only gives Eve the apple, he also steals Raphael’s flaming sword.And when the Archangel himself is pinning him against the wall, the demon knows he’s going to die; Raphael is going to tear him apart.“Why did you steal my sword?” The Archangel demands, looking just slightly irritated.“I gave it away.”





	1. Chapter 1

Crowley is not his name, that’s the name all the demons of Hell gave him because they’re too afraid to say Raphael out loud. The Archangel is just too powerful for a simple demon to handle and that’s why Michael and Gabriel decided it was better for Raphael to be in charge of the apple tree.

That’s why everyone in Hell thought Azirafell was going to fail his assignment spectacularly.

Although that’s not the case at all.

He not only gives Eve the apple, he also steals Raphael’s flaming sword.

And when the Archangel himself is pinning him against the wall, the demon knows he’s going to die; Raphael is going to tear him apart.

“Why did you steal my sword?” The Archangel demands, looking just slightly irritated.

“I gave it away.”

“You WHAT?” Raphael stares back at him, so fascinated the grip he has on Azira’s hands loosens, giving the demon the opportunity to move out of the Archangel’s way.

Why is he smiling? He should–he must be furious, right?

“Why?” Raphael realizes the demon has moved and in response he takes a step forward.

“She’s pregnant and there could be beasts out there, how could they survi–” he stops, realizing that sounds awfully close to a good deed.

“You’re very kind,” Raphael smirks, trying to close the distance between them again.

Azira, on the other hand is ready to bolt.

“I’m n-not.”

It starts raining, Raphael uses one of his wings to shield him from the rain, making Azira blush to the tip of his ears.

“I’m Raphael,” the Archangel offers his hand, he’s obviously waiting for the demon to take it and introduce himself in return.

Azira does neither of those things, he flees away from there, like a coward. He’s not sure why the Archangel’s kind behavior makes him so nervous.

They both end up on Earth; it’s Azira’s reward and Raphael’s punishment for what happened in Eden.

The other demons think Azira won’t last long because Raphael is probably going to kill him, but that just doesn’t happen.

Azira knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against an Archangel and does his best to avoid him, but Raphael always seems to know where he is.

“Hello, Azirafell!” He’s constantly grinning, enjoying when he gets to startle the demon.

“You’re a bastard, you know that?” Azira tells him once, tired of it all. After a couple of decades he realizes the Archangel is certainly not planning to hurt him anytime soon.

Raphael chuckles, takes Azira’s hand and kisses it.

“Thank you, thief.”

The demon is so flustered it takes him a while to react to what the Archangel just said.

“It wasn’t a compliment!”

“You consider ‘nice’ an insult, so 'bastard’ must be kind of a compliment among your people… Am I wrong?” He looks so smug, Azira decides not to give him the satisfaction of an answer.

Because he’s right.

***

“You like _Hamlet_, right?” It looks like an innocent question, but Azira knows it’s not. Raphael has been doing him favors, giving him things, helping him with temptations and the demon doesn’t know what to make of it.

The moment Azira nods the Archangel disappears and the next thing the demon knows is that the play is a huge success.

“Thank you,” he mumbles the next time he sees him, not even looking at him.

“You’re welcome, thief.”

***

“Hellfire? Are you out of your mind? I’m not bringing you hellfire!” Azira growls, telling himself he’s not giving him that because he’s not going to help an Archangel, but the truth is the possibility of losing him terrifies him. “It’s a suicide pill!”

“I’m not gonna use it on myself, thief,” he smiles fondly, trying to reach out to him, but the demon moves out of the way. “It’s for protection.”

The demon doesn’t believe him though.

***

Raphael could be absolutely terrifying when he’s furious and when he finds Azira dealing with Nazis inside a church he is practically fuming.

“What are you doing here?” He demands, golden eyes obscured by a shadow of concern.

“I’m… just screwing their plans,” he says, a little bit embarrassed, not because he looks kinda funny trying not to stand on consecrated ground for too long, but because he’s acting against the Nazis. Ruining someone’s plans is something bad, no matter whom he’s affecting, right?

But Raphael is still angry, in the blink of an eye he takes the demon in his arms and tells him to drop a bomb on the church, Azira is just too shocked to protest.

The Archangel keeps both their human bodies and Azira’s beloved books safe.

“Thank–”

“Don’t,” Raphael hisses, still refusing to let the demon go. “Don’t you ever do that again. There was holy water inside! You could’ve died!”

Azira gasps when he sees in those golden eyes what he has refused to see since the beginning.

The Archangel presses their foreheads together.

“I–I promise I’ll be more careful,” he mumbles, trying to forget what he just realized.

“You could just say my name if you’re in trouble, my thief. Say it three times and I’ll be right next to you if you need me,” Raphael offers and even Azira knows that’s huge coming from an Archangel. “Even if you’re fighting against angels… I’ll be there for you.”

He tries to dismiss it, because he’s not ready to deal with the implications.

“I don’t have to say your name, you always appear wherever I am,” the demon says, trying to make it sound like a joke.

“Yeah, but it’d be nice to hear you say it, to know that you want me there… to know that you need me too,” Raphael kisses Azira’s hand and that’s when the demon starts panicking.

He’s just not ready.

“I need to report back to Hell,” he stammers, face completely red.

Raphael leaves him on the ground and the demon runs away… again.

***

Despite of his concern, Azira gives him the hellfire; Raphael looks back at him in awe, with hope and tries to take his hand. The demon shakes his head and gets out of the white Bentley.

They see each other a few years later, in Azira’s bookshop; he’ll keep using the place like a shop even though he never allows anyone to buy a single one of his precious books.

When Raphael walks in, Azira holds back a sigh of relief; he’ll never admit he was completely worried about him since he gave him the hellfire.

The Archangel brings him a croissant filled with chocolate and the demon almost moans at the sight.

“How come you’re always the one giving me these things?” he chuckles, not noticing the way Raphael is staring at him as Azira licks the rest of the chocolate off his own thumb. “I should be the one trying to tempt you…”

“You could, if you wanted,” Raphael moves faster than Azira can blink; he takes the demon in his arms and sits him over his lap. “Tempt me, thief.”

“I was just jo–”

“Tempt me, Azirafell,” he whispers, leaning closer, tightening his grip on the demon’s hip when said demon tries to escape. “Ask me to kiss you and I will… You only have to say it, please.”

He can feel the Archangel’s nose close to his, Raphael has a hand on the back of the demon’s neck, pulling him even closer.

The Archangel has been punished once because of him, what if it happens this time too?

He can’t. It’s too much.

“You go too fast for me… Crowley,” it’s almost cruel the way Azira decides to use the name Raphael has been given among the demons.

The Archangel freezes, the grip loosens immediately and the demon is finally able to put some distance between them.

“Right… sorry,” the Archangel nods and walks out of the shop, but stops to look back at him once more before mumbling again. “I’m sorry.”

He looks so broken it makes Azira’s heart ache. It’s almost as ridiculous as it is painful… He knows he just hurt Raphael and that should make him feel proud (he’s a demon after all, it’s kind of his job to make angels suffer) but instead it makes him miserable.

It’s wrong and he doesn’t know how to fix it.


	2. Chapter 2

The truth is that Azira doesn’t want the Armageddon to happen even though he’s a demon. He doesn’t want to leave Earth, he doesn’t want humanity to suffer just because someone has decided is meant to happen that way.

So a couple of years after delivering the Antichrist, Azira decides to keep an eye on Warlock; he gets himself hired by the family as the boy’s Nanny.

Perhaps if he can stop him from turning completely evil the Armageddon will never start. The problem is that he’s a demon, he has taught him how to lie and how to misbehave… Yes, he has tried to teach him how to be kind, but Azira thinks Raphael would be much better at that.

The problem is that he hasn’t seen him since… that day; Azira still feels bad about the way he treated the Archangel, he should have chosen his words more carefully.

The demon misses Raphael, but doesn’t know how to reach out to him; he said he could just call his name three times, but what if he doesn’t want to see him anymore? There must be a reason why the Archangel hasn’t gone to his bookshop again.

Maybe he finally realized that Azira is not worth his time; he’s just a demon and not even a very efficient one.

“Miss Fell…” Azira hears Mrs. Dowling coming from the hallway and he tries to fix his make-up and his dress before she walks in her child’s room.

“Yes?”

“Could you please show the new gardener around?”

“New garde–” Azira stops the moment he feels the familiar pure energy coming from the entrance. “Of c-course.”

He tries not to rush to the main entrance, but it’s even difficult to keep his human heart calm.

“Hello, thief,” Raphael smiles at him, wearing a ridiculous disguise that almost makes the demon chuckle.

He would’ve laughed if it wasn’t because he was too surprised to see the Archangel again.

“I’ve missed you,” the Archangel mumbles with the same hurt look in his eyes.

Azira still feels bad about it.

“I have… missed you too,” he finally confesses and it’s almost painful and charming at the same time to see how Raphael lights up with those words. There’s hope in his angelic eyes.

But there’s no time for hope.

“Nice dress, it suits you,” Raphael comments, taking a step closer.

“Thank you,” Azira blushes and feels better after that silly compliment; he shouldn’t get distracted, he doesn’t really know what Raphael is doing there. “Why did you come here?”

“To help you stop the Armageddon,” he says, smiling when the demon narrows his eyes at him.

“How do you know I want to stop it? Perhaps I’m just trying to make sure it happens the way is supposed to. I’m a demon after all, I was in charge of delivering him.”

Raphael shakes his head, caressing one of Azira’s cheeks gently; the demon doesn’t want to admit it, but he has missed the… affection.

“No, I know you, Azirafell. You’re not like that. Not really,” then he sighs and his smile fades away to be replaced by concern. “I don’t want to lose Earth either… because if that happens, I’ll lose you too.”

Azira clears his throat and takes a step back, he tries not to panic. Raphael always finds a way to make him feel like his human heart is going to jump out of his chest.

“I’ll take you to the garden,” he mumbles and sees out of the corner of his eye as Raphael looks back at him, defeated.

“Too fast again, huh?”

Maybe Raphael is not too fast, maybe Azira is just slow.

***

The problem with dealing with kids is that they comment about absolutely anything they find interesting. And they don’t really care if it’s appropriate or not.

Alright, perhaps that’s Azira’s fault since he hasn’t actually taught the kid manners or respect, that should be Raphael’s job.

“Nanny?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Is brother Raphael in love with you?”

Azira almost drops his cup of cocoa when he hears that, although he feels better when he remembers the Archangel is still outside and can’t hear Warlock.

“No!”

“But why he’s always giving you flowers?”

“Because he’s being nice and knows that I like flowers,” he says, praying to Satan the kid stops asking questions.

“What about the pastries? He brings you those too…”

“Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean–”

“And why is he constantly looking at you? Mom says it’s because he has a crush on you.”

“He doesn’t!” Azira tries, but fails to make a neutral expression when he says that.

“Why is your face so red, nanny?”

“You know what? Let’s go play in the park!” He suggests and that’s (fortunately) enough to distract the little boy for a while.

***

It doesn’t happen; the hellhound doesn’t come to Warlock’s party and Azira feels as something has broken inside him.

He made a mistake and now he has no idea where the real Antichrist is. He sighs, covered in birthday cake and gets used to the idea that’s the last time he’s gonna see his kid.

The demon gets in the white Bentley and tries not to crumble, but he feels like he’s been defeated somehow. He’s truly such an incompetent demon.

“It’s okay,” Raphael mumbles, leaning towards him to caress his right cheek with his thumb. “We’re gonna find him, thief.”

“Let’s face it, we’re doo–”

“We will find him and we’re gonna stop the end of the world,” the Archangel cuts him off, desperate, a little bit irritated by the lack of faith.

But Azira is a demon, why would he have faith or hope?

“And even if that doesn’t work,” Raphael takes Azira’s hand and the demon doesn’t have the energy to tell him he should have both hands on the wheel (honestly that Archangel drives like a demon, which should be hilarious under better circumstances). “I have a plan B for the both of us.”

“What do you mean?”

But Raphael doesn’t say anything else after that. Azira knows it’s something important and it probably means that their relationship will change, but he’s not ready to think about that.

“Raphael?” Azira mumbles after a while, mostly because he wants to distract himself.

“Yeah?”

“Are you still angry about… your flaming sword?”

Raphael looks back at him almost outraged.

“I’ve never been mad about that, thief,” he says and then adds, like he can’t help it: “I thought it was sweet.”

Azira narrows his eyes at him after hearing the word ‘sweet’ (demons are definitely not sweet) but he decides not to argue.

“Then why do you still call me _thief_?”

“Oh!” Raphael smirks, it’s one of those expressions that always makes Azirafell think that he’d make a great demon. “Well… That’s definitely not the reason why I call you thief.”

“Then why do you–”

“You’ll have to figure it out, _thief_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments! I'm glad you're enjoying this story! <3


	3. Chapter 3

“Come with me, thief,” Raphael walks into the bookshop, snapping his fingers to make the people inside disappear.

Azirafell blinks a couple of times, not wanting to admit how much he likes when the Archangel does something “bad”. He fights the smile on his lips.

“What did you do to my customers?” He tries to look outraged but they both know he doesn’t like to sell his books.

“They’re back in their houses,” Raphael does a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Now, get in the car.”

“Why? Where are we going?”

“We’re going to find out where the real Antichrist is by looking in the place where you delivered him. They must have some sort of documents on the other kid.”

Actually, it sounds like a great idea, although just thinking about getting inside the Bentley makes feel Azira nervous. That Archangel drives like a demon.

***

“You look tense, thief,” Raphael chuckles, taking Azira’s hand in his.

The demon has no time to think about that word; there’s a reason the Archangel calls him that and has told him he has to figure it out on his own, but Azira is too distracted by Raphael’s driving “skills”.

“You’re going ninety miles per hour in central London and you’re supposed to have both hands on the wheel!”

“You know I’d never do anything that could hurt you, Azira,” the Archangel whispers, kissing the demon’s hand before releasing it. “You’re the most precio–”

“You need to focus,” Azira cuts him off, totally not panicking.

“As you wish, my thief.”

***

“This place feels loved,” Raphael grins, taking Azirafell’s hand and intertwining their fingers together. “Can you–”

“You know demons can’t sense love and we definitely cannot feel it at all,” Azira mumbles, moving his hand away. His cheeks are burning because of the lie he just told the Archangel. He can feel love, his own at least, he feels the way his human heart beats inside his chest or the way his energy becomes warmer. But he can’t admit he feels love for food, for books, for the Earth and for… other things.

He’s a demon, he’s not supposed to feel that way.

“Right,” Raphael mumbles, pain clear in his expression as they both walk inside the place.

Until they get shot.

“Oh, my coat!” Azira laments but is quickly interrupted when the archangel takes his face in his hands.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, it’s just… paint,” he blushes when he sees Raphael blowing the paint away and grinning at him before kissing him on the cheek.

“Come on, thief.”

And he just keeps walking like nothing happened, like he didn’t leave Azira completely flustered.

***

Azira starts losing hope the moment he sees the place has turned into some sort of building for humans to play in.

“If we see each other in the battlefield, please kill me quic–”

He doesn’t get to finish the sentence because he’s slammed against the nearest wall. Azirafell blinks a couple of times at Raphael and finds his golden eyes looking back at him with pain and anger.

The demon isn’t afraid though, he has the absolute certainty that the archangel is not going to hurt him. Which should be alarming. It’s only natural to be afraid of an enemy.

“How could you possibly say–how could you think I could… do something like that? I’d never… I don’t want you to die, Azira. You won’t, I won’t let you. Even if there’s a war you’ll never set foot in a battlefield. I’ll protect you, it doesn’t matter how many archangels I have to kill to make sure you’re fine.”

Azira doesn’t breathe for a couple of seconds, he doesn’t need to, but his human body does in order to function properly.

Raphael is joking, he clearly is; he wouldn’t go against his own kind for… him. He doesn’t actually mean it, even though he said without hesitation.

Azira gets distracted when he notices how close they are; Raphael’s anger vanishes quickly, but he doesn’t move away.

He looks at Azira’s lips.

“Excuse me, gentlemen. Sorry to break up an intimate moment…”

Reluctantly, the Archangel releases him and walks towards the woman with a smile on his face.

Azira sighs, still feeling his human heart jumping inside his chest.

Raphael was joking. He had to be.


	4. Chapter 4

Azira can tell Raphael is a bit tense after all of their efforts to find the real Antichrist failed and now neither of them have any idea about what to do. He’s also sure he’s distracted by the way he hits that woman on the bicycle.

Raphael miracles light and Azira has to do exactly the opposite because he realizes the woman is still very much conscious and is currently looking suspiciously at both of them. The Archangel quickly fixes her broken arm and Azira helps her stand up.

“I need to tell you something important,” the Archangel mumbles really close to his ear and Azira blushes, trying to ignore him. He remembers he had mentioned something about a plan, but the demon has a bad feeling about it.

“I think we should take her home,” he says, trying to distract the Archangel, even though he knows it’ll be useless. Normally when Raphael has something in mind is nearly impossible to make him forget about it.

“As you wish, thief.”

Reluctantly, she agrees and introduces herself as Anathema and jumps in the back of the Bentley still eyeing at them every now and then.

Raphael strokes Azira’s cheek almost absentmindedly and the demon scolds him for not having both hands on the wheel.

That’s when the woman seems to relax completely.

“You’re an odd couple,” she observes, looking from one to another and the demon is ready to correct her when she adds: “But in a cute kind of way.”

“He’s the cute one,” Raphael replies, before Azira can say anything and even kisses the back of his hand in front of her. “A cute thief.”

Instead of asking about the it, Anathema chuckles.

“Because he stole your heart?” She giggles.

“Exactly,” Raphael answers, completely serious.

Azira freezes on his spot, telling himself that’s not the real reason why the Archangel calls him that; it can’t be, it’s not possible… It’s forbidden. They cannot love each other.

He said that just to keep pretending they’re a couple.

But the demon knows, deep down, that he’s fooling himself.

It’s more than that.

They leave Anathema back home and Azira doesn’t say it out loud, but he’s glad she’s safe; he shouldn’t be worrying about a human like that, but he hasn’t never been a “normal” demon anyway.

The way back to the bookshop is awfully quiet; Raphael has tried to initiate a conversation a couple of times, but he knows Azira too damn well to notice when he doesn’t want to talk.

Before getting out of the Bentley, the demon sees a book in the back, but not just any book: it’s The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter.

It could have an answer to their problem.

“Azira, there’s something about Armageddon I need to talk with you,” Raphael looks at him, taking off his sunglasses. There’s something about the way he’s staring at the demon that makes Azira feel vulnerable. “We need to prepare in case–”

Azira shakes his head suddenly.

“It’s not over yet, we have time.” He mumbles, even though he’s not usually the one that has hope.

“At least let’s talk about us then. Azira…”

“Not now,” the demon panics, pulling the book closer to himself. He takes a few steps back and has his hand on the doorknob. “Please, not now…”

Raphael just stares at him and there’s something so lonely about him just glancing as Azira moves away… Almost begging with those golden eyes of his not to leave him.

“I won’t give up easily, thief. You know that.”

Azira closes the door behind himself, his human heart is beating crazily inside his chest.

There are so many things he needs to think about, but he needs to focus on the Antichrist first.


End file.
